Insatiable-
Draining bank accounts
Eating fistfuls of money
Searching for savory
To satiate this hunger inside.
Unstable-
Every inconvenience
Streams tears into my mouth
Searching for salt
To drown this sadness.
Unable-
Knowing the dangers
Can’t keep us apart, I’m
Searching for sweet
To heal this illness.
On my own again
Stranded on an island
Of my thoughts-
The waters that surround me
Are currents of my memories,
Swirling whirlpools of chaos
Keeping me isolated.
I can’t escape
The dangerous waves of
“What ifs”
Formed with the wind and the choices of my past-
But I’ll construct
My escape from this godforsaken island
With a study raft of good intentions
And move forward on unsteady waters
To a new world yet unexplored.
Midnight thoughts
Intrude on seductive sleep
And push it away,
Pulling my mind
Into a late night tango
Of past moments and parallels.
This exhausting dance,
My body moving to the tempo,
Keeps moving to the music
Until my legs can’t keep up.
These thoughts,
These nights,
These unforgettable moments
Make for mental messes
To be ignored- an insomniac’s gift-
Until the next late night
Where my mind won’t stop dancing
To the beats of the past.
Vivid white paper
Stands out against dark lines
Waiting to be written upon.
Words may come
Words may be erased
But thoughts are never ending.
This time,
Write in pen
To immortalize your intentions.
Take action to show improvement-
As all living things
Are a work in progress.
Spinning in circles
Momentum increases
Coils tighten
Until you make impact.
Hitting a wall,
Take a deep breath
Trace your steps
And unwind.
Exhausted with potential interests
I bury myself deep
Layers upon layers of comfort
Holding me back from exploring.
A fire burns within me
But my cold emotions seek solace.
Envy’s seeds are planted within,
A hint that spring is coming.
How do I plant seeds of hope instead?
I want to change along with the seasons
But what can I do
To break free from old habits
To explore new possibilities
And to find myself whole?
I want to tell you
How I’m feeling
But don’t want dependence
To weigh you down.
I want you to see
That I’m hurting.
It should be obvious
Without words.
I want to know
Why nobody is around
When I’m hurting the most
But I don’t want an audience
For my tears.
I want to be heard
But can’t help
Soldiering on in silence.
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Alone with her thoughts,
She slips-
She dreams of a world
High above where
Everything is beautiful.
Darkness cowers in shadows while
Regal angels soar with
Elegance
And grace
Making music while children
Sleep soundlessly nearby…
Home. This is their home. The
Envy she feels can’t be suppressed and
Rears it’s devilish head (awakening hidden demons).
Nothing is safe
In this godforsaken He(aven)ll with
Gnarled angels snarling and reaching out to
Her with knife-like claws
To trace sermons on her
Marble skin, marring it
And crushing her bones to make her
Red rivered veins
Emerge
Shredded in disarray.
“Come here, darling” sighs an
Oil-slick voice
“My children wait to feast on your
Every fear.”
Alone, she stands on
Legs of paper
In the presence of subjective demons
Viciously awaiting her
Encouraged extinction.