Finding Myself

Exhausted with potential interests

I bury myself deep

Layers upon layers of comfort

Holding me back from exploring.

A fire burns within me

But my cold emotions seek solace.

Envy’s seeds are planted within,

A hint that spring is coming.

How do I plant seeds of hope instead?

I want to change along with the seasons

But what can I do

To break free from old habits

To explore new possibilities

And to find myself whole?

Wanting To Be Alone

I’m holding on to you,

My dear,

I’ll never let you go.

But what if space

Is what I need? I may be

Here, physically,

But my presence isn’t present.


I love you

Don’t you love me?

Yes, but I

Love myself more.

Pain

Self inflicted punishments

Punishing a wounded soul.

 

Soulfully devoting kindness

Kindly protecting others

Otherwise left forgotten and alone…

 

Alone in abandonment…

 

Abandoned, with long forgotten hope,

Hopelessly she falls

Falling toward an invisible self.

 

 

Recipe for Disaster

One mistake that could have been prevented

But not easily fixed.

Stir until the bumps begin to smooth out.

Add a dash or glimmer of hope to taste;

Enough that it can still be crushed

But not enough to overpower.

Let sit until it ferments

And spreads

Sinking into the crevices in your brain

Leaving you with nothing

But an aftertaste

Of what could have been.

 

From One To The Next

A family so complete

Every member an active participant

Of holding love in their arms

And virus-like happiness in their eyes

Contagious… spreading

To your own heart within minutes

And turns your recently icy demeanor

From the frost burns

Of your former father

To an overwhelming boil

As passion flares

And warms you throughout.

A Year In Review

There were times both happy and sad

Sometimes we were even mad

But you were always by my side

Buckling me in for the long ride.

We took a trip just you and I

With views that made me weep and sigh

And filled my heart with memories

As we looked out over the cold dark seas

Wondering about all the things to come

Leading us back to where we came from.

Then we hit a downward slope

I didn’t know how we could cope

I suffered through pain and being ill

But this year will be better still.

Arriving By Train

I saw you

Through the window

Of broken promises

Stained with teardrops.

 

But maybe I was wrong-

For you weren’t sad,

but smiling.

 

Although your eyes

May have met blissful tears

It was not they

Who stained the window

But merely raindrops

Of a fresh day.

 

Our promises

Since repaired

Can hold the weight

Of the gaze we share.

Eyes that meet

Not for the first time,

But again.

 

As motion comes to a halt

Thoughts spring into action

And cause me to yell out to you:

I’ve returned, I’m all yours.