Through shuttered windows
I can glimpse her beauty
She’s surrounded by a haze of light
The grace she expresses glows
We all wonder at her strength
To hold herself up
Alone
Every night
Just for us
Watching over us
Silently sleeping in her wake.
These late night conversations are brief
But I whisper to her
Secret sentences
She’s longed to hear
Since the beginning of time.
“You are appreciated, even in our slumber.
Thank you for letting us rest.”
And through the shutters
She smiles.
I want to tell you
How I’m feeling
But don’t want dependence
To weigh you down.
I want you to see
That I’m hurting.
It should be obvious
Without words.
I want to know
Why nobody is around
When I’m hurting the most
But I don’t want an audience
For my tears.
I want to be heard
But can’t help
Soldiering on in silence.
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Silence screams static into my ears
Every minimal sound
Is a bomb interrupting monotony.
Yearning for interactions with others
Even if they are not my own.
The dull glow of the silent television offers no comfort
The thumping music diminishes-
Not welcome at this time.
Visitors are welcome
But none come or go.
Right now, the only comfort
Comes from my own sanity.
But how much silence can I take?
How much silence can this room hold
Before it breaks?
A pregnant
Lack of sound
Gives birth
To fear.
Insecurities rise
Until they are rescued
At the dawn
Of conversation.