In the end, there’s just
Me
Allow yourself to see it from my view:
Love is something you lose yourself in
Regret is when you realize, too late that
Everything has changed
And instead of losing yourself, you lost me.
Dreams are haunting your waking hours with
Yearning, but nothing can be changed.
Go on, move forward. There’s
Only so much more that can be done when
Never means forever and
Everything we had is lost.
I’m holding on to you,
My dear,
I’ll never let you go.
But what if space
Is what I need? I may be
Here, physically,
But my presence isn’t present.
I love you
Don’t you love me?
Yes, but I
Love myself more.
She sits on the wooden shelf
An unwelcome grin etched on to her face
As the people around her
Mill around the house
Go about their day
And pay her no attention.
She waits
Patiently with her stiff limbs
Hoping all day
Today’s the day
When they come home
They’ll pick me up off of the shelf
And play with me.
The hour arrives,
The family trudges in
One
By
One
And they begin to mill around the house
And go about the rest of their day
Without a glance at the shelf
Where the doll sits by herself
Waiting for love.
Silence screams static into my ears
Every minimal sound
Is a bomb interrupting monotony.
Yearning for interactions with others
Even if they are not my own.
The dull glow of the silent television offers no comfort
The thumping music diminishes-
Not welcome at this time.
Visitors are welcome
But none come or go.
Right now, the only comfort
Comes from my own sanity.
But how much silence can I take?
How much silence can this room hold
Before it breaks?
Tuck in your shirt
Drop your inhibitions and dress accordingly
Tame your tangled locks
And train your eyes right here on me
For, Monkey, you must see
What this monkey will do.
Cover up those tattoos,
What are you? A disgrace?
Take out your tacky piercing
And point your smile my way,
Monkey, you must see
What the master of monkeys will do.
I just asked you for a favor
And “okay” is all you have to say?
I don’t seek compliance
I seek a trained monkey that won’t stand in my way.
Dear monkey, I’ll make you a master
Then we’ll see what you can do.
Walking through life unscathed by
Hell on earth
Only because of me
And what do I get in return?
Mute mutiny and abandonment of hope-
In this world of ours, I’m alone
With time moving on with a grudge
I look at you and reminisce on
Times where we were side by side
Holding onto hope with bare hands,
Only to find our fingertips burned-
Unusual casualties of falling in love
Together, on an island alone.
Yet here we stand with
One of us ready to move on, to live! At least
Until she feels regrettable reprieve.
There’s nothing in our world
But you and I
And feelings
Of love
That we have for each other
Used as currency
Of happiness
For the way you claim
I make you feel with a smile
Of togetherness
Because nothing here matters
Except us
But that’s because this is your fantasy
You can’t see past
Your insecurities holding you back-
A home made jail cell
Your negativity
Repelling me from your needs and desires
Criticizing me for the person I’ve become
When you remain unchanged
But most of all
Secluding me
And creating a rift
The biggest feeling of which
Is one of
Not belonging.
Too much love for
All of humanity
Marriage takes precedence
Above other matters
Related, but even with him,
Alone is how she feels.
NaPoWriMo prompt for day 24
Self-portrait poem
If you dream a dream of laughter
With heavy giggles falling from the sky
You will wake from bed soon after
Where peacefully sleeping bodies will lie.
If you dream a dream full of tears
Spilling from your eyes like blood from a wound
You will wake alone with your fears
Forever by yourself, forever doomed.
She approaches the vacant bed
With caution
And reflects
On all of the late nights
The requests
For him to crawl in next to her
And wrap his arms around her
A warmth that only he could provide
He did this to himself
She thinks
As she climbs inside
Pulls the freshly laundered sheets up to her neck
Where they lie
With a cold but comforting touch
I’m here for you
As she creates her linen cocoon
And drifts to sleep
Without him.